The day I saw you ♥

Monday, January 18, 2010

Don't go yet, I need youu ;

*2009, Shea Zheng's Place*

"I'm clueless about this feeling, I'm scared, I'm worried, I'm annoyed. Tell me someone, how do i stop it?"

Hey there(: Well. Mondaay. nothing much. Cough was annoying me. I sounded so ill. Oh well.. I was dead on the bus. Badminton 1 hour only. I finally beat Steven. (: It was very nice to sleep on the bus as there isn't any noise. cause there's only 4 of us. At first Ken and I were talking, and he got boring. so i just went to sleep. such a nice rest till the bus driver gotta bang something. no idea what he hit. i don't really care. I was listening to a song, and i was about to cry. The lyrics was so sad, meaningful.

I came home, i went up to my room showered and everything. It started to pour. Thunders,Lighting, Heavy Rain, Howling Winds. That was it. I started crying.. No cause I was scared.. It's just that, it reminded me about the song i was listening to earlier. and how much i miss everyone. How much i miss her. She has moved on. It was her time. I didn't expect it to be that soon.. I started crying, thinking about what i talked to Sien Wei about. I started crying cause i was confuse. I always messed up everything.. Sien Wei, i really need you. I can't stop this feeling now. =/ I need a hug from you badly, I need to see you, I need to talk to you. You're the only one understanding my situation now. : '( Flora, Faria, you guys understand too right?! well, you only know a part of it. Cause it always happen in school. For example, today. you get what i mean.

I tried hard not to get into a mess like this. I tried so hard to not cry like how i am now. I tried so hard to go through the pain everyday. I tried so hard to see everything that is happening. I tried so hard to forgive myself.

Quote of the day: Sometimes forcing is separating the two

Faria came up with that. Well, erm. there some more at the end, but it's not needed. Mandarin kinda cheered me up from everything. Ms.Miow is back. She looked so weak.. =/ Get better sooon.! Michelle and I went sick during mandarin and started laughing like mad. (:

I cried again just now. I'm wiping my tears off as I'm typing this. What else could go wrong?!

When i was waiting for them to come back home, There weren't any seats left. I didn't want to sit on the seat where she used to lay there, but i had no choice. I put myself in her position. Sleeping there like how she normally does. My heart started aching so badly. I go to her room everyday, it aches so much. It hurts, it burns. I closed my eyes, and I started imagining what we used to do. What you used to call us. What you used to give us to cheer us up. What you did to annoy us. What you missed eating when it doesn't exist anymore. I went waay back into the pass in my dreams. I really should have appreciate you when i had the chance. And now when you're gone, I miss you like crazy. : '(

Yesterday's Quote of the Day: I gave my whole heart away, but i never really got it back.

Yes, i was talking to Sien Wei about some stuff, and suddenly that came up on my mind. Oh ,Sien Wei. ah. I seriously need to talk to you :'(

Apparently, I can't stop thinking about it =/

Ashley is really sad : '(

Ashley signing off

tata

xoxo
ashleylicious

10:55 PM