Saturday, June 26, 2010
"Why can't I get you off my mind for even a second? "
Hey there ! (: Sorry for not blogging. So Thursday was EPIC! (: Had House Sports Festival. Got sun burnt and injured my knee. oh well. worth it. Cause Fairfield won. Oh yeah. Skills right there. We beat Scott in football and Scott is like known for FOOTBALL! (: So on Friday it was a normal day. A sucky timetable. blah blah blah. The bus was fun-ish?! So came home. then went for some shopping for Chiang Mai. Then came home at 11 something. I got a new watch. Thanks Mom. I love you. (:
So today... Woke up had breakfast and went shopping again. my knee was a killer. ! My mom & sister made my day worst. I said I need a formal dress for Imaan's party and my mom starts saying stuff!! Whereas my sister, when i jsut say something, she complains to my mom. When she does it to me. I was gonna tell my mom and my sister always get away with it! My mom always get my sister whatever she wants. and not me. Like, she has a pair of heels for her prom yet she wants to get another one. and my mom said yes. and when i say i need a dress for Imaan's party, she ask me to find one in my cupboard and that i can't get a new one!! Oh great. So i was lke walking behind them as they were walking so fast and i was walking so slow cause of my knee, i felt like running away... Mom was so mad at me the whole trip. then my sister gotta make it worst. going like: mom, look at ashley.she's so moody cause you say you won't get her a dress. and she's being rude to me. all i said was whatever and i dont care and i ignored her. so.. she does it to me as well. and yet she doesn't get yelled at? I was seriously thinkning of running away at that moment! Until my sister realized that i was way too behind.! and they stopped. It was heartbreaking the whole shopping trip.!! I hated it.!!! My sister kicked my knee and didn't even say sorry. and she just walks away. When i kick wherever she's injured, and i don't apologize, she'll tell mom and mom yells at me. Seriously, WHAT THE FUDGE!
Okay, I think i should really get my lazy ass to start packing. (: I seriously can't wait. nayha. (: Got to go now.
Apparently, I'm over-excited. (:
Ashley just doesn't know what to do.
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
9:43 PM
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
"I never knew what i wanted"
Dear heart, would you stop making me confuse? I'm really confuse right now. Tell me what do you want. Please don't make me go all crazy over this. This is breaking me. So, dear heart, if you care please help me out. :'(
Hey there. Today was awesome maan. It was tiring but it was fun. So we had ICT first it was okay. Break was okay. Maths was okay. History was boring. Lunch was normal. English was normal. Art was funny. ( ; Bus was hilarious. Except one bit was unexpected. hahaa. (: Jess Adrian and I waited for my brother to pick us up. haha. it was so windy and nice. and i was so loud people were all looking at me. haha! (: So after sending Adrian home, Jess and I got ready for the dinner and off we go jsut to beat the traffic. so yeah.w e reached there like half an hour early. So we walked around Gardens. (: then we saw people coming so we went to TGI Fridays. (: then we sat down. ordered. chit-chat. then food. makan. oh, Dk came as well. haha. He's actually buff-er now. (: hahaha. duuude, he's so mean. He freaking poked me in the eye!! So i slapped him. or was it the other way round. haha. (: So then we had to go. Well, Jess didn't want to stay so we said we had to go but we just walked around til my brother came and picked us up. so my brother came and like sent Jess home. and i slept in the car. I was so tired. haha. (: So here I am now.
Talking to Nurlyana now (: Oh gosh. Nurlyana, why must this thingy gotta be so confusing? Why why why. Why now :'( I get how you feel now. Honestly, I think i only can talk to you about this. =/ Cause you understand. and I have no clue what the others would say to me. I bet they'll yell at me. =/ Thank you Nurlyana for being there for me (:
Apparently, I can't wait for tomorrow. (:
Ashley needs help :'(
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
10:31 PM
Monday, June 21, 2010
*I love my cousin(: *
'I'll promise I'll be there to catch your tears'
Hey there babes. ! (: Haha. So today was such a fun day?! hah. Let's see. English, i didn't have any plan for our assessment but oh well. break went by fast then DT was awesome. History was so sad :'( Lunch was EPIC! haha.
Eu Chian: Ashley's mine
Aditya: No, Ashley's mine.
Eu Chian: No. She's mine
Aditya: Well, she didn't write you anything did you?
Eu Chian: But I'm gonna write her something. ooooh. beat that!
Aditya + Eu Chian: ASHLEY! Who's yours?
Me: Well, Aditya, you didn't answer my proposal so i guess..... *Aditya cuts me off*
Aditya: Oh right, yeah yeah. I said yes.
Me: then I'm yours haha.
Aditya: Ooooh. beat that Eu Chian
Eu Chian: aaaaah :'(
hahha. hilarious. Then Yip suddenly went: woo. Eu chian. Go Eu chian. *did a weird cheer* Flora and I laughed like mad. Okay, so Lunch was AMAZING . haha. (: thanks guys for making my day. haa. Drama next. more fun. haha. we got changed into our shorts and this time, we were GANGSTERS.! (: wooo. so skilled man. hahah. it was so funny how we were planning what to do. haha
Lawrence: Hey, Ashley! You're in Aditya's group. I want Ashley as well(talking to Aditya)
Aditya: No Lawrence No.
Lawrence: Come Ashley, sit on my lap .
Aditya: No!
*few minutes later*
Aditya: Hey why not i steal your bitch(shandi) and that's when the fight starts
Lawrence: Then why not i steal yours as well. COME HERE ASHLEY! COME ON!
Me: what the heck. No Lawrence. Sorry.
Aditya: Yeaah Lawrence.
Lawrence: aw : '(
Hahhaha! funny. (: then it was mandarin next. it was okay-ish. (: Was planning whether to take the study leave or not. or whether to go to Eu chian's place. but I'll be the only girl. they say i could tag along but i'll most probably be lonely and end up talking to Eu Chian's dog as Eu Chian, Ken and Jia Her will be playing PS3. oh well. next time lah Eu Chian. haha (: The bus ride home was EPIC as well. haha. I love today so much . (:
12 o'clock tonight. (:
Apparently, I just loove today! (:
Ashley loves you (:
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
8:29 PM
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I'll never let another teardrop fall
"May the tears come from laughters. "
Hey there.! (: Today was an awesome day? hah. Duude, I mean mom, please don't go suicidal :'( it's scaring me. =/ Hope you're okay ma. (: So my dad is so cool. I love my dad. Haha. he's so random. He changed to MTV and like the song Humans by the Killers came up and he like turned the volume up. like super loud. haha! (: and he started singing along. so did i in the end. hahha. (: we are so cool. (: so then nothing much happened. (: then at night, Netherlands and Japan. wow. (: I tied my hair weirdly and crazily. Brother said I'm a retard. haha. (: then we watched monster inc as there's nothing else nice to watch. and aww. the little girl was so cute, so i tried to be her. hahah! so funny. (: and then. i started jumping and running around for some reason. and yeah. (: oh then i started doing sit ups. hahaa. (: then then then.nothing much. aha. then then then. sister won tickets to mtv world stage. then then then. nothing. then then then. nothing. haha! (:
Duuude, I'm so excited when Shea Zheng said about the Redang trip. haha. (: Duude, it better be successful and hopefully everyone can make it so it'll be an epic holiday. haha (:
Lalalala. I have nothing else to blog. oh wait, I'm screwed on Monday as everyone will start asking me about the card that jess gave aditya. =/ oh well..
Apparently, sexual cards isn't good =/
Ashley needs you!
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
12:01 AM
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Baby it's you ;
No, it has not been easy for me lately. Re-reading what you wrote years ago. What is up with me. I hate everything that is happening right now. I hate everything now. Trying not to take things that way, but every time, it looks like it to me, and it feels like it. No, you guys won't understand if you try and ask me. Things are way too complicated right now. I need some time to think through everything, at the same time i need my friends who understand me best. Florence, Sien Wei. I really need you. I needa cry my heart out but every time i do that, it hurts more. I didn't want to think of anything right now. All i wanna think right now is happiness, be grateful for what I've got . Sighs. Me crying isnt good right. but it's so painful. Now, another issue came about. Thanks mom for bringing the past back. Why won't you trust me? I said I'm sorry for my phone bill, sorry for using the house phone to call my friend's handphone and talked for half an hour. Mom, what point of me having issues and need a friend, do you not get? And right now i need to talk to someone, so how am I gonna call them? Right now I'm getting worst and need someone to talk to mom, i really need my friends now. : '( Mom, listening to sad songs and typing this isn't helping me. My heart is crying. I'm holding my tears back. M heart hurts from doing htat. Mom, I'm sorry for me spending so much. I know that. But now, after what you brought up, i put my phone a side and think more. Hugging all my stuffed toys, trying to make me better,Imagining that it's all my friends that i need a hug from.
So today was a good day i guess. On the bus was hilarious. Thanks Jess for everything that youve done. making me laugh like a mad cow. haha. (: Science was okay. Chemistry is actually easy. haha. I understand it so fast. hahahahah. (: awesome. that's good. cause it normally takes me a while to figure things out for Bio. oh yesterday, during drama, we were learning how to stage fight. it was fun but got carpet burns. Oh gosh, i can hear my mom telling my dad about the house phone bill. i hate this.and i thought today was a good day. somuch for a good day. dad is so pissed! : '( i can hear him. i hate this. sorry but i have no mood to blog anymore :'(
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
7:37 PM
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
It's difficult to explain what I'm feeling right here. It hurts me. Staring into empty space doesn't help. Thinking about it makes me sadder. I guess life is unfair. I guess I gotta be strong and face whatever obstacles there is in life. Everything is messing up. My mind, my heart. I don't even know why I'm here. Things are just so messed up. Crying won't help, listening to sad songs won't help, stuffing myself with chocolate won't help. What hurts me most is that YOU don't even see it. Well, that's cause I don't show it. When i show it, you just get all mad. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of everything. Give me a break. !
Hey there. (: lately. school has been shit.! Fucking retard that don't understand english. what point of STOP STARING do you not understand? okay i absolutely have no mood at all. All i can do now is to cry, stuff myself more with food, get depressed and get depressed!
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
9:21 PM
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Gooood morning guys. guess what time is it? it's 4:31 in the morning as i'm blogging this. just watched U.S and England's game. hilarious what Green did. hahaa. but hey, thanks Green. love you. cause i'm supporting U.S in that game. (: duude. number 11 in U.S team. young + cute. haha (: But overall. Spain for the win guys. (: Love them. and I love Fabregas. ahaha (: Oh gosh, i can imagine Shea Zheng going to wine about me supporting him. Sister & i went wild and it was crazee. got carried away.s o now it's 5 oh boy.need sleep now. goodnight .
4:30 AM
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Yo sup guys.! haha. i'm feeling way better today. well. only now at night. but not like earlier this morning. had a terrible flu and i sounded so weird. so yeah. mom asked me whether i wanna go to school. I had to. Music exams. thought gonna record it today but in the end not. damn. could have stayed home and rest more. but see, i'm such a good team-mate. (: Oh gosh, now the flu is coming back. what is up with my body :'( this ain't good.
I HATED TODAY SO BADLY! I HATE THE BUS RIDES NOW! gah damn. and we thought that, that idea would help me. but it got worst :'( Thanks Jess & Ken for helping out. ! And sorry Jess for getting you into this and you having the same issue as me, sorry babe. didn't mean to. ! Oh gosh. now going to school is a nightmare and coming home as well. gaah! :'(
Duude, and i thought i will blog like a proper update but i guess not =/ it's late, i'm sick and i'm a hell lot to settle things down! :'(
Quote of the day: He said he's scared to live without me, why did he let me live without him?
Apparently, i'm screwed!
Ashley loves you (:
ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
10:28 PM
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I can't blog right now. why? Not feeling well. falling sick :'( gotta get well as soon as possible. (:
will try and fully update it as soon as possible as well. Happy holidays peeps. well. not for me tho but for local school students. haha. sad casenya saya. :'( saya ada sekolah, mereka tak ada. saya cuti sekolah, mereka tak. adui, susahnya untuk bertemu lagi:'(
10:18 PM
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Dear Retainers,
Why must you be so annoying? Thought you'll be so much easier to handle compare to Mr.Braces. But i guess not. Whenever i put you on, somewhere in my mouth hurts. Guess what? I got a cut from you. Thanks a lot....
Dear Nurlyana,
Yes yes yes. Things are complicated. We're both are in a similar situation. Well, not really but kinda. This sucks so much. All we can do now is wait. No! We can't wait. damn. I have no clue what I'm talking about. Gaah. Jeez.
Duude, I seriously have no mood to go to school on Monday. I wanna have another 2 weeks holiday so I can hang around and catch up with every single one of my friends. ! :'( I really really really really really really extremely miss you guys. ! Daaaamn. Oh gosh. History. So screwed and we have it on Monday. Damn. Monday is gonna suck. ! :'( Faria, Vicky & Shandi, we are gonna get yelled at by Mr.German cause we haven't finsish our documentary and it's not even half way done! :'( Gaah. So damn F-ing dead. Now i don't feel like going to school on Monday. like seriously. Who knows i might fall sick on Sunday. (: But then I'm gonna miss DT and i don't want to miss dt! I love it do F-ing much. gah stupid History that gotta ruin everything! Okay, i seriously needa get some sleep now.
Apparently, I'm not liking anything :'(
Ashley needs a serious hug right now
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
1:29 AM
Thursday, June 3, 2010
"What if...."
What if, just what if.. Things were different. What if I could go back in time to change things? What if. Just what if.. I know, sometimes it's complicated. It's hard to find someone who is feeling the same way as you do. It's hard to explain to someone how you feel when they don't feel the same way. All of this. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. Replacing someone? How is that possible? Then why do I try so hard? It's a little crazy here for me. And no. Don't ask me whether I'm alright. Does this sound alright to you? No. Looking at the watch just breaks my heart again. Reading the paper over and over again, breaks my heart more. Hurting people, has hurt me a lot. I wanna stop doing that. But.. you're not meant to be hurt. Nurlyana, we all get confused sometimes. I am too confused. We sometimes don't know what to do, i too don't know what to do. :'(
p/s: will love you no matter whaat.
All i could think of right now is.. Where are you?
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
10:58 PM
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
"On the night I was alone......"
Hey there. Sorry for not updating for long. I've been a little busy. Having some family bonding time and all. Guess what? I got a godmother and I have no clue how this happen. I mean, I actually do but it's such a news. I mean like.. out of the blue, she asked me to be her goddaughter. haha. Well, the story is simple. Mom didn't have enough players to play. As in play I meant golf. So i agreed to tag along. I was worrying so much as my mom said that her friend is such a pro. So yes, she is ! But she was so nice. haha, she was amazed with my first shot. and I've made mistakes and she guided me. So yeah. She's a nice lady.(: and Just today, she text-ed my mom and asking that question. so yeah. She said she'll take me to golf tournaments. I was thrilled when i heard that but i don't have time. Which really sucks.! =/ oh well. Anyways, so today is Monday. Well, it's Tuesday already as it's 12:50 and yeah. Guess what? Taking my braces off today! Since it's Tuesday already. Was suppose to take it off last Thursday but the dentist gotta run for his important meeting. So yeah. yippy-doo! (:
Oh, I was so obsessed with pandas lately, mom got me a panda shirt and and and Snoopy ! (: So cuuute. Oh gosh, I've just realized that I still have my homework to do. What part of HOLIDAY do the teachers don't get.? Holiday means to rest man. Duuude, we students do need a rest too. You were a student once. You should know how it feels like. Oh god damn it, i've jut realized AGAIN. That my Mandarin GCSE is around the corner. If I'm not mistaken it's on the 2nd week of school. As in after we get back lah. Damn it, and you know I'm not used going to school without a watch. Cause i used to have one. but the battery died. How sad is that. But hey, Cheap stuff. I'm a cheapskate person, can't help it. Oh damn it. I gotta stop doing this. like remembering stuff suddenly. Anyways, Tim & I haven't gotten our Rm120 for Chiang Mai. So screwed! So god damn screwed! Gaah, this is not a good time to get all freaked out. It's the middle of the night. Ashley, you better get ready for some weird crazy dreams tonight then. Oh gosh, look. I'm so freaked out that I'm even talking to myself. ha. I think I'm seriously going crazy now.
"On that rainy day. I stared out the car window, looked at the raindrops running down the window as it joins up with another raindrop and form a shape. It was a cold night. My heart was cold as well. I looked pass through the raindrops. Seeing two young teenagers with a plastic bag over their head using it as an umbrella. As they held on to the plastic bag over their head, they ran across the street. Getting to the nearest shelter. My heart beat started rising. Looking at those two best friends, going through this together. Weirdly, they weren't even angry or sad as they got to the shelter. They laughed about how silly they were. Using only a plastic bag as an umbrella for two people. How my heart ached seeing them. Seeing how friendships now has got me thinking so hard, how much i've missed everything, everyone. I know, it's too late to go back. The only thing that I'm happy is how much memories we all have as a friend, how much i had with you guys, yet.. I'm giving up on trying to fix things as I've tried so much. Sorry. One word. Easy to say, but not easy to say with a meaning to it. Forgiven. One word as well. It's difficult. Well, i know it won't do anything, but I'm here to say sorry to everyone. I'm sorry,Nurlyana. I'm sorry, Ainaa. I'm sorry,Michelle. I'm sorry, Faria. I'm sorry,Flora. I know it's about time for me to apologize, hey, it's not easy forgiving yourself either in order to apologize to someone. Guys or rather yet, girlfriends... Together we shall, again, be one crazy, messed up family. Together again, let's make a memory. I love you (: "
Apparently, I'm freezing in my room =P
Ashley is sorry.
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
12:28 AM
