"Baby, I'm in love with you"



Hey hey hey hey! (: So it's a Tuesday today. Today sucked i guess. So we met the knew principal and then i had my science results. was happy about it as it was a difficult test as everyone said it was. it was okay. I'm just happy and Mr.M is happy as well. He said it was a good test for me. haha! (: Now i can't wait to see what he writes on my report. haha! (: It was break next, nothing much happened. I was kinda upset. then it was Malay, it was okay. a little funny. and then my mood was baack (: well, kinda. haha! Oh Haziq was so funny. haha! (: then it was maths, boring shit gay ass maths. then it was lunch. It was the time when Nurlyana is coming! but i have to do my listening test. suck! Michelle told Nurlyana to come up. and she did come up. with loads of people following her. thanks guys. haha! sorry i only had 10 minutes left to kidna catch up with you,Nurlyana. :'( it was geography next, we were saying our goodbyes and nurlyana was like: you guys are gonna be late for geography. haha! (: hm.. then English next. boring. well.. it was okay i guess. then it was the end of school. the bus ride was hm, okay normal. i slept for a while. I woke up when Elena asked James and all to stop talking about stuff. which i totally agree with her. everyone does!


Came back showered went for dental and all. (: gaaah! nothing else. dinner was funny, mom tried to be gangster but but but. FAILED! haha! (:

Sorry, i got carried away. hm i think i should stop now




Apparently,I'm feeling left out





9:34 PM



"Be my shining star and guide me to your heart"


Hey there! (: So it's a Monday today. School was the usual. Few more days and we are off school baby! (: So English was first, it was so boring. Then break, nothing much happened. Then dt, fun, i guess. History boring! then lunch. nothing much.. then drama. fun. mandarin was boring.. then went back home. nothing much happened today. Today is a boring day.!

Facebook, i can't believe you distracted me when i'm doing my gepgraphy homework. Blogger, I can't believe I'm distracted by you too. I gotta control myself!!!

I have nothing to blog now lah.! You know what, I shall start doing the poster for Patty (: and start taking pictures of it. i hope she'll love it. haha! (:






Apparently,I'm craazy






9:34 PM



"You are worth everything"


Hey hey hey hey! (: Okay so today was a fun outing. haha! Thanks Julie for coming early. But in the end, we didn't go bowling.(: Julie and I ate and then we met Norm . then went to the cinema. watched How to train a dragon. It's nice nice nice (: haha. the dragon is so cuuute. (: Adrian and Julie cam in late tho. hahaa.. After the movie, on the way. I was like yelling saying i need to pee. same as Julie. it was so funny. the guys were just like:erm. okaay?" haha. then we pee-d while they bought some drinks. we came out of the toilet and they finished their drinks. then we went to battling cages. (: it was so funny. the conversation we had about pee. and then how long it takes and all. then Adrian said like guys in our school always pee on the right. hahaa. and it was worst. haha.as i started saying i love the smell of the toilet. By toilet i meant the one at the battling cages. the one near the lift. it was so nice. haha (: the smell and all. haha.

Then we went to Chocolate lounge and ate strawberry sensation. yum yum yum.It was sooo goood! (: it was so funny there as well. haha. words just can't describe this day. haha. too funny! then erm. we went to get coke from cold storage then we went and look at books since the book fair thingy was downstairs. haa! it was so funny. "A camel has a hump, we get on and get bumped on the hump" something like that it was so sick that we all burst out into laughters. then we went into studio R then i started feeling stuff and i was about to feel the mannequin. and that mannequin has boobs. haha. it was so funny. (: then erm. we went to the old wing and sent julie off then went to the taxi stand to get picked up. my brother was swearing on the phone as i was late and he has to wait. haha (:


It was a fun day today. Hm. the past 3 weeks has been awesome. past 3 Saturday. haha. (: I love Saturdays. haha! ((((:





Apparently,I'm starting to miss youu






12:30 AM


"Lead me to your heart"


Hey hey hey! (: Hellooo. okay so today is a bad day i guess. We had to turn all the A/Cs off as we are doing the Earth Hour in school. So yeah. We could wear anything brown, green or blue. I wore green and brown (: So first was assembly. it was so stuffy.. and this dude came for a talk. like wow. okaay. then everyone was already sweating. not me (: and then.. it was mandarin.. BORING! everyone was fan-ing. haha! Elliot like randomly fan me. haha! WEIRDO. haha. then it was break. nothing much i guess. then it was history. boring! Science. science test.it was okay actually. Mr.M was crazy. he was distracting us man!! so then it was lunch. nothing happened. then it was English.. Boring! then it was Games. I played. then Ms. Shine came in and told me off.! :'( I was really really really really really sad and angry.!! So doesn't allow me to play the GIS one either.. !!!

I hung out with Julie, Adrian and Michael after school. We went to the library. Haha. it was funny. then erm.. played with GIS. i was yelling so much as i wanted to play so badly. and then i did get changed and played eventually. then when i was playing my singles, i saw Ms. Shine came in and ran out of my game and the girl looked blur. and i told Julie to play for me. and i explained it to the coach and that girl and apologized. so i played doubles . Gavin covered me with that. Thanks(: then we went back home. got stuck in traffic for an hour. : '( showered, had dinner, watched the replay of american idol. (: then i came up and here i am right now (:

So yeah. . Today isn't a good day. I was freaking out so much cause of Ms.Shine..I'm sorry guys that i was distracted by Ms.Shine. It's my fault. I said i wanted to play. Sorry. =/

It's raining. it's raining. It's raining. It's raining... I just love rain. it chills me down .(:


SATURDAY, bowling? haha. I'm gonna embarrass myself in front of you man. that is not good. JULIE, you better go you know.. pleeease, i don't want to embarrass myself alone! :'(




Apparently, I'm talking about strawberries (:




9:19 PM




"Thinking to myself 'how did i meet you'..."


Hey hey hey hey hey HEY! (: Okay so it's a Wednesday. I was so tired okay. I kept day dreaming in classes and my eyes were feeling so heavy like it could just shut any moment now. so yeah. haha! Drama was first. my ankle was better today guys! so then break. nothing. pe. i was so sad i wasn't doing it. i love hockey and i was sitting there watching them play. Aditya was nice to me. here is a conversation between us

Adi: Ashweee, you're not doing hockey?
Me: Nope :'(
Adi: aw. i miss you.
Me: I miss you too
Adi: You are like my best partner man
Me: haha. awesome. you are too (((:
Adi: and we have good team work
Me: yeah man, that's why we are always awesome.


haha! so nice. then after their first match, they had drinks and then Mr.charman was like: Aditya, sub with Gabbi" so then he sub. then aditya came over and talked to me again

Adi:Ashweeeeeee
Me: Adiityaaaaaa. GAAH! i wanna play so badly
Adi: hey wanna just pass the ball around?
Me: okay *went and grab a stick*
Adi: okay let's play
Mr.Charman: Aditya, what are you doing?
Adi: you said i was sub so i'm gonna play with ashley
Mr CHarman: nooo. I meant change sides with Gabbi
Adi: Sorry ashley.
Me: it's cool.


And I played against the wall. I was so bored okay. And I miss playing Hockey! SO MUCH FUN!! Aditya is being so nice to me. haha! Anyway, it was science next. I walked in and Mr.Manuriak said...



haha. he was hyper that time. haha! I think he was way hyper. haha! something was not right. haha. So i didn't get the lesson. I'm gonna fail the test tomorrow.! daayum. Lunch next. nothing happened. then Malay. FUnaaaah. then PSHE. BORING ever! Stayed back. was suppose to play badminton but Ms.Shine didn't allow me to! : '( she said i was still limping so i can't play! That is unfair you know. cause i can run now. i'm serious! (: I hope i can play tomorrow tho. =/ pleaaase. cause i really wanna play tomorrow. (: anyway, i stayed back and it my art. I'm kinda done now (: hahah! I hope Mr.Boyle won't complain about it!!! and i hope it's good enough. but i doubt so after seeing Sabiha's and others.! : '( I feel like mine is just too cute for the world book =/ oh well. I'm happy with it. I can frame my up if it doesn't get into the world book (: So i slept on the bus. then woke up and started revising chemistry. (: but i know i'm gonna fail let me try

Li+: Crimson red
Na+: Orange/Yellow
Potassium+:Lilac
Ca+:Brick Red
Br+: Apple Green.

OMG! yes. i did it.. but i struggled a little.

Cl-:White
I-:Yellow
Ba-:Cream.

Fe2+:dark green(i think)

You know what. I'm gonna revise now. (:





Apparently,I'm freaking out about the test !







9:44 PM




"Somethings made us cry, made us laugh, but we gotta say goodbye.. "


Hey hey hey! (: It's a Tuesday. I went to school today. I had to bandage my ankle just in case you know. Yes, I was limping the whole time in school. Not easy but I'm glad I don't have to climb 13 floors. (: Hm. I cried this morning in school as i missed Hong Kong and all the good memories and all.! : '( Tears just came out from my eyes. like kaaboom. :'( So it was Games first, I didn't do it as i had to rest my ankle. then it was science.. i was so bluur. : '( then it was ermm. music. boring! then lunch.. boring. then ict, boring. maths hell boring.. Stayed back to do art. I find mine weird. but people said it's cute. but still. it's sooooo weird! and It's so sucky compared to the others. : '(

So on the bus ride home, Steven was comparing stuff. haha! and then i played a song for Faria, Ken and Jess to listen. it was a SEX song. haha! It was so funny. We laughed our asses off. (: So i came home and blah blah blah. (: hahaha!

I have nothing to blog about now. I'm just to into stuff. haha! Well, Facebook basically. haha! Omg. I just miss Seasac so much! I can't believed i cried. Anyway, I feel tired. so yeah.



Apparently, I miss those times






9:10 PM



"You stole my heart before i could say no"


Hey hey hey hey ! OMG! Hong Kong was amazing! I loved it.. I love you Julie and Jennifer for helping me out. I love the fact that the weather was so awesome. What i dislike was that I was injured, we had to go all the way down to the 11th floor to the hall.. we had to climb back up to the 9th floor for pick up.

I would love to blog all about it. but i can't explain it in words. !!!! gaah. it was just amazing. I LOVE IT! BEST EVER! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE IT!

Gaah I can't stop laughing, smiling and thinking of it. it was just such an awesome trip! I LOVED IT!!!!! (:



Apparently, I'm going off







8:39 PM




"My heart takes of with a high speed chase.."


hey hey hey! (: I'm blogging now as i don't want my blog to be dead when i'm gone for 4 days.(: Anyway, let's see.. Today was an okay day. (: Faria wasn't in school today as she's really ILL. Get better soon (: So ICT was first. lucky i didn't get into trouble. then it was break had to get the bags and shirts. The shirts were huge but the bags weren't. So then the bell rang and it was maths. It was boring! then it was history. weird article. but it was hm.. well, it's gross!! then it was lunch. it was okay. collected my other shirts. then it was english, it was funny. Ainaa, Kat, Michelle, Flora and I had a nice interesting conversation (: Ainaa is pissed with me now tho. but hey, it's the truth i gotta say. Then it was art. Michelle and I were talking to Yip and telling him about Ainaa. haha! I'm sorry you two that you guys are pissed with me, but you guys are meant for each other (: Art was fun. I did my drawing. I'm actually proud of it (: but after looking at Aditya's. hm. I'm not so proud. He's was absolutely AMAZING! (: then Raff's. Rinnngg. School over. Went on the bus. Saw ken's sexy belt and asked whether it's okay to have a look. i was like: ken, can you take of your belt?" (it was so wrong) and he just took it off. and like it was so wrong. haha! There were sick conversations but i don't wanna talk about it (:


I came home and started packing. (: I have nothing to blog now as I just remembered i have mandarin homework to do! and I'm stressing out! gaah. =/ so i guess i should stop (:








Apparently, i can't wait (:






10:07 PM




"You are awesome that you make me smile(: "


Hey hey hey! (: Okay, So I will blog a short post as it's late. why am i still up? homeworks.. Why not done yet? thanks to people who distracted me... actually.. I shall stop here. but tomorrow, i will be busy too. busy packing for seasac. won't update from Thursday to Sunday. Will be at Hong Kong. (: I can't wait to see you! gaah. haha.

Okay okay okay. i havenoting to blog now. not now. too busy this week.!!! sorry.









Apparently, I can't wait to see you(:






10:36 PM





"All i can do now is think of you and smile.."


Hey hey hey! (: HELLOO READERS. Okay, I have no idea what is up with me. I'm like so hyper and I can't stop smiling. Today in school right, like.. In the morning on the way to school, i was listening to some songs and i started laughing cause i was thinking about what happened on friday. It was so funny. Then i was so hyper in school. English was first and yes, i waas way hyper... Michelle, yes.. I'm happy now. no more depressed. No more depression when i eat chocolates or strawberries (: Anyway, back to my day.. Break was next. Michelle and I had an interesting chat. I didn't know Faria was =/ then was DT next, i love DT. nyaha. We had to finish up our candle holder. kinda. like put things together and all.. and i couldn't put my wood in right.. cause the right side jsut keeps going in but not the left, we(kat& I) changed the POSITION, still not GOING IN ! (that sounded wrong).. then I've finally found out how to do it (: Michelle said it's amazing. How is it amazing when it's like the rest? haha.. then it was history. gah. boring! but it was kinda funny as well. We were "undercover" and we blew our cover like loads of times. haha. then lunch, didn';t have lunch. got carried away with History. then it was Drama. nothing much.. it was funny. then mandarin, boring like shit. the usual lah. then badminton, i wasn't playing well. i couldn't hit. like i could but i made loads of mistakes.. Played with MKIS.. nothign happened after that.


Came home and showered and had dinner. Came up here. Oh Michelle, shut up okay. You should be happy right.Oh yeah, you are happy. ahha! I can't stop smiling. (: Thank youuuuu. Ilove you. nayhaha (:


Well, Nurlyana.. I don't like the fact that you won't tell me what is it okay. 14 days is far away!!





Apparently, I just loove texting (:






8:18 PM


"Oh tell me what is this feeling i'm feeling"

Hey hey hey! (: It's a Saturday. It's the badminton match thingy. Okay, so i woke up like 6:50 i guess? I wasn't suppose to wake up that early, but some reason, i couldn't sleep. I was thinking about today. haha. Weird heh. ? Anyway, i tried going back to sleep and my phone rang. Adrian was calling, asking me what time shall he go out and wait and where. haha. So i just got out of bed and took a long shower and tada. had breakfast and went out and pick Adrian up. Went to MKIS... blah blah blah. nothing happened. warmed up and stuff. played games. yes, the team was teasing me again. and i said hello and he didn't turned back and Edison was like: he didn't look back, aw." and then he turned back and he blasted out and my ears were hurting after that. Then it was a coincidence that he was sitting like opposite me and was a line with me and Edison started talking and teasing again. Illia just gotta helped him out and make sure I didn't leave. She started feeling me to make him jealous. WHAT THE HECK RIGHT?

So hm. I told Jen about it. I do trust her. So she kinda helped out. but i still failed. SORRY. haha. and Steven is annoying me now. not jsut that but Han eol too. gah. I can't believe Alvin brought up that subject. that BET! I don't wanna talk about it. OMG! i can't get that moment of my mind. haha. It's just so funny. I went "sup" he went"what the fuck*slowly fading away*" and jen starts the talking. haha!! So nothig much happened. We didn't know it was an individual event. We thought it was a team event. and like... when they gave out the medals, i got second in my seeding. It was good. I had to play with the G.I.S girl. She's a fucking pro!! She's actually the 1st seed but she played 2nd today. It was nice playing with her tho. Good experience (:

So sent Adrian back, showered and came on the computer, starving. Oh well. text text text computer. FREAKED OUT! was wondering were Michelle was when that happened. But but but, Michellee yes, yes yes yes, omg right? haha (: went for dinner and watched badminton after that. text text computer computer, text text. haha. (:


I love today so much. Oh Michelle. 13th of march will forever be remembered. If you are reading this which i doubt so, I've never felt like this for ages! (:

I'm off now =)



Apparently, I'm smiling like a weirdo =P







10:06 PM



"You're still a part of my life.."


Hey hey hey hey! (: So it's a Thursday already. So fast.. Thursdays are normal. Let's see. Today is Action Aid thingy right, it would be better to have it the whole day man, but they are dumb to just put it break and lunch time. Hellooo, wanna raise more money? give us more time (: So first was mandarin, boring. break, set up the stall. history, boring. science, interesting. lunch, had the stall, not bad. (: english. late for it. games, boring. nothing happened next. the bus was okay i guess.

NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT!! I'm blank today cause i'm tired and on webcam with michelle (: nyahhaa. funnay.


"I'll stay strong. I'm slowly getting over it. In fact, I should thank this special person for being there for me no matter what. Always there to talk about my situation and understands it and and help me out, even though it's hard for you. but thanks (: Oh and you always make me smile (: "





Apparently, I'm laughing so muuch (:



9:25 PM
"It's late, I'm awake, thinking, how all of these went wrong. I can't sleep. Not cause I'm not tired, cause I've been feeling so much pain, guilt and all. I've been crying and crying. My heart, it feels like there's a hole in it. Every time i think about it, it makes it worst. Like washing a cut. I was on the tv just now, a song came up. I was basically almost gonna cry, but i held back my tears. It was shameful of me to cry in front of my family. I've tried and tried and tried. I thought it's the best to balst my feelings out here. I don't know how to control my feelings anymore, i wonder why. No pne seem to really understand what happened. Trying to explain to my closest friend, she' can't really understand it as she's not in this school. Trying to explain to someone in my school, yes, some of them do understand. But all i really need now is a hug. A long hug. Cause i really really need it badly. :'( "

10:31 PM



"I've tried controlling myself, but i couldn't.."


Hey hey hey! (: It's a Wednesday.. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? NOTHING! haha. Anyway, since it's week B, it's the best. Drama was first.. It was awesome. Break was okay. Pe was fun! (: I'm soo good at hockey. ahha! Jokes jokes. Oh yeah, my team rocks. why? cause Aditya is amazing and Dan is okay and I'm okay too. so yeah. haha! (: Then it was Science, gah, what is there to write about Science? It was FUN. ahha! riiight. suuure. i don't know actually. It was okay. then Lunch, nothing much. then Malay, we were suppose to study but turns out into a lesson with stories. GAH! I can't sleep now. THANKS A LOT GUYS! Ms.Nice tried to stopped them, but they lost controlled. haha. I was going crazy as I was so scared. Oh well. Then we had to do the poster, Michelle and I did it so nicely and she said our words were too small :'( we had to do it all again! Then it was PSHE. It was so damn boring!

*riiinnnnnnngggggg* Bell rang, went home. On the bus, was being way way way under depression. As for people that don't know what I mean by me going depressed, I'll tell you right now. I will talk about random things and crazy things to keep my mind off stuff. So today, i talked about way way way over rated stuff. I'm sorry Faria & Jess for freaking you guys out. I told Ken about the thing that Michelle asked her mom about. haha! Ken was like laughing so hard. (:


I got into the car and ate.! (: What can i say, i get hungry really fast. EAT A LOT=FAT. (: I'm so good at equations now. haha. Oh yeah, in school today was the action aid thing, a year 10 group had chocolate fountain! and there was strawberries! But i can't eat it.. WHY? It makes me way depressed. and brings back stuff. I need to get over it first only i can eat it. So yeah. Secondly, i don't have any money.. Oh yeah, during lunch, i had a strawberry flavoured lollipop, i went depressed after that. I was high. HIGH=DEPRESSION.

Mitra: Ashley, you are high.
Ashley: No no no. I'm loooow. OHHH YEAAh*laughs*
Mitra ewww. yeah sure, i can see that you are low.*laughs*


Ashley: I think I'm high now!
Michelle: No, you are low..uuuuhhh yeaah..
Ashley: No. I'm high in a low way and i'm low in a high way. So basically I'm high and low*winks*
Michelle: Hahahaha! Oh yeah. I get what you mean *winks*


So yeah I'm blogging early just in case I will sleep early again like yesterday. I said I was gonna sleep early right, I slept way early. After dinner and i came up and slept. ahha! Wow. and it was 7:30? haha.


"Even though it's hurting me, I'll try.. Even though I still miss you, I'll try.. I'm gonna try to survive through this.."





-Updated-

Okay, so I've decided not to sleep early.Well, I'm forced not to as I'm not done with the Science homework. It's gay and difficult. My dad doesn't even know. haha. Actually I've finished it, but it took me ages and I can't sleep now:'( oh well... Didn't text. =/ Tomorrow is our stall time. ACTION AID.(: nyhaha. Can't wait. Hope things work out.!! Shoot, I just remembered that Jess was suppose to call me, but she didn't and it's 9 something now. JESSICA LOUISE POTTER!!! How can you forget! Damn. damn damn damn. Anyway, what else should i say. Oh yeah, American Idol. OMG! Katie sang breakaway, and i was so saad:'( then i loved the subway singer. she's awesome! I forgot her name =/ OMG! I jsut remmebered too. It's yf birthday tomorrow and I'm suppose to call him midnight. I promised. Gah, i can't. Sorry yeah, if you are reading this, I doubt so tho. and I don't think you'll be up as you have exams yo! I guess I'll stop here right now. (: As hm. I feel like lying in bed and thinking how much pain I've been through and it's me that caused it. No wait, scrap that out. I think I'll stay on the computer and watch the video over and over again!



Apparently, I'm getting lost again




5:43 PM


"I tried to tell myself it's over, but i couldn't get over the fact.."


Hey hey hey! (: I'm blogging early today cause i have a feeling that i might be sleeping early today. I wanted to blog jsut now, real badly. But the usual, something came and just changed my mood. I'm having so much mood swings : '( Things have been tough lately for me.. I just need some time..

ANYWAY, today.. It's a Tuesday, as you guys know.. hmm.. Games was first, nothing much. Break. Nothing much. Science, awesome flame experiment. Music, awesome. Lunch, it was the usual. Ict, boring. Maths, HELL boring. Cardio, boring, a little funny.. Bus ride home, kinda sad and tired. came home, sadness.. tired. The funny thing is that, my mom made"kaya" and i was so hungry, my mom and I like took the bread and wipe off the remainder off the pot. We look like we haven't eaten for ages and we looked so so so desperate for food. haha. Came up, took a shower.. LONG shower.. and here i am. Crying in front of the computer, like I'm a mad person.. I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm depressed, I'm confused.. I've been crying for a week now, why can't i stop it? Other people can manage it, why can't i?


I promised myself I'll be strong to over calm this. Yes, I'm trying to, but i just can't be strong. I'm not that strong type of person, I'm a sensitive, emotional girl.. I want to get over this thing I'm having. I wanna be a strong person, like how i used to be when i was young. How i wish I was that small little girl again. Life was so much easier back then, so much more fun, so much excitement.. Here we go again, being all depressed. I tried asking someone to slap me out of this, but it ain't work. It does, but only for 2 minutes or so.


"Oh my dear heart, please heal this pain as soon as possible. I don't want to carrying this around and then you just sink back whenever I think about him, her, you, them. Oh my heart, oh my heart.. Please bring back the old Ashley back. :'( "




Apparently, I'm lost. =/





6:20 PM



"Give me all your fear, i shall throw it away"

Hey hey hey! (: Today is Monday. The usual. Maths first right. yeah.. it was boring.. then it was break... nothing much. then Science, nothing much.. Geography.. nothing much. Lunch time.. nothing... Malay, nothing... Mandarin BORING!!! I was about to sleep.. So then it was badminton next. I kept yawning.. hm. I was so tired. We trained the usual.. We played a full game! finally! omggggg! I'm so damn happy i beat JENNIFER! haha! but she asks me to play first seed which i so do not want to play. then i had to play with Steven.. I nearly beat him.. but 4 points! gaaaah! He called me a cheater cause i knew his weakness. How is that cheating.

On the bus ride home. the usual... and steven, stop hitting me. it hurts so muuch!! So it was jam, i slept in the car. Came home showered had dinner and here i am... (:


"It's weird heh.. Everything seem to be my fault. I seem to be the one that has to do everything you tell me to. Why can't the others do it? Why not? I'm not your doll, I'm not your maid, I'm not your dog. I'm your friend. I'm sick of listening to you telling me what to do. I hate it when you get pissed off and blame me. I hate the fact that whenever you want something, you'll be nice to me. I hate it all. Why can't you stop it? My heart is already filled with mixed thoughts and sadness. I'm trying to fix things step by step. It's not easy...I want everything to be back to normal. In fact, I actually wished I've never been in this school. I miss primary. I miss how friends are there, they would understand. Yes, people here do understand, but only some.. They don't understand anything I'm going through. It may seem I'm just a broken hearted person, but.. there's always a story behind a broken heart, and there is a story behind these mixed thoughts and sadness and guilt and the pain in my heart. You have to get to know my story before you judge me. Before you start blabing out some stupid stuff! "



I had no mood to blog.. But i had to. So I've blogged and I'm gonna stop here.




Apparently, you gotta get to know the truth before you say something.




8:25 PM



"I hear your voice all the time"

Hey there. So today was the day. today IS the day. Reunion.. It was a fail, I'm a fail organizer. Sorry dudes yeah. but hey, on the bright side, we get to meet each other again (: The point of me having this is just to relax and chat but you guys just wanna go to your so call computer classes.. So the guys went away and the girls wanted to watch movie but alice in the wonderland was sold out. so we went shopping, the usual. There were 12 of us, 8 boys and 4 girls. So we met up again at the arcade.. and yea, we were obsessed with the toy thingy. it's an unfair machine.! Everyone went missing. and we had to walk to the old wing to meet up with Yf & Yk, but he wasn't there. Screw you guys man. =P haha! jokes jokes. So we sat and drink and they came.. Then they had to leave.. So we walked back to the new wing. 3 girls and 2 guys were left. We walked around. I heard this sick thing. ahha! that made my day (: then My mom called.. so i went to the taxi stand and waited. While waiting this clown came up to us and started telling us his trick about catching the ball with a pair of chopsticks. and we were like: woooow* note the sarcasm* " and then we went in as it was so hot.. and my mom told me she's gonna be late. just great. then we went out again.. and the clown was doing the same thing as he did it to us to others now tho. and he FAILED! he dropped it. haha! we were laughing so much =P and then i had to go. =/


I met: Elena, Petra, Rachel, Kea, Dave, Vicky, Tasha, Mika, Carina.

Today made my day. even though it was a failed reunion. Because it got my mind off things. (: Thank you guys. Ch'ng xin said next reunion will be someone's birthday. Every reunion shall be someone's birthday. Do you think that's a good thing? maybe (: I'm not gonna organize it tho =P




Okay, I'm really pissed now. My mom is so unfair. She knocks on my door and annoy me, asked me to get off te computer. and then saw my phone and asked me who is that on my screen saver and i told her and she asks so many questions when it 's a god damn celebrity and she knocks on my sister's door and was so nice to her and all. I can even hear them from my room laughing and all. My mom doesn't do that to me.


WHAT THE HELL! Stop being unfair, why are you so unfair? My life is messed up,complicated, and so much sadness is going on and you gotta make things worst. Well, thanks alot!! I'm sick of this. Of everything. I'm trying to fix people when I myself can't fix myself. I'm trying to make up with him, and I'm not doing anything. what the heck is my problem?




"There was something in your eyes that caught my heart"




Apparently, everything is gettign worst.




10:22 PM

This is just a dream, I hope.. I don't want to just cry and cry and cry every single minute that song comes on the radio. It hurts so much. Oh how i wish it would stop.. but it can't, i can't..I don't know why, but i just can't.

I'm trying so hard to pretend that everything is alright, but it's not working out as i thought it would be. I tried telling myself to calm down, take a deep breath, but every breath i take in, just makes the tears flow down my cheek faster and faster. but hey, it's my fault anyway.

"You are an amazing person, you did your part, but I didn't..It's also not that I don't like you anymore, i still do, but cause of all the pain and guilt i have in my heart, i can't stand it .. And that is the reason why i'm doing this. I know it hurts so much right over there.. I really want to make it up to you, but how? Your heart is broken and that, will never ever be able to me replace. You need your space, i understand that. I need mine too. The reason I'm holding the tears in school it's cause worrying people is not what i want and i know you are doing the same too. I'm here to tell you I'm utterly sorry, I know I've hurt you so much.. I hope you will do fine, You have loads of friend's support. P/s: All the best to you. "


All these nights I sit and started singing, the song that we all sang in karaoke. It was hilarious, it just made me think of all the great times we had together. Thank you so much.

8:48 AM




"I count 1 to 3, take a deep breath, nothing is working out, I'm still crying"

Hey hey hey hey! (: Today is Friday. I knew today wasn't a good day, as hm. last night.. I just couldn't sleep, couldn't breath, couldn't stop crying. For some reason, this pain in my heart.. seem to be getting greater and greater. As we were almost reaching school, my heart, it literally sank.. it was painful, i didn't want to go to school today, but i had to. I went to school.. pretending like everything was alright, put my headphones on, listening to songs.. which wasn't helping me at all.. I stared into an empty space.. wondering, why had this happened? then sat down with michelle and flora. talking.. keeping my mind off things.. was it helping? not really.. nothing helped through the day.. Badminton kept me off my mind for a while... thanks guys.. but still.. you guys are pure evil. Trainning was tough... but hey, for seasac right..

Was on the bus with steven only.. so annoying!!! went home.. watched AI.. came up to my room, tears started flow down. I couldn't hold it in anymore.. I told Flora.. and then my dad jsut gotta knock on my door and annoyed me and i got so angry, i yelled. oh, tell me what is wrong with me : '(

Went out and bought my sister her laptop.. she's showing it off now. she's so dumb in setting up. I tried to cheer myself. I told sister while shopping for her laptop, she wasn't listening and she didn't care. She didn't understand. When i need her now, she just don't understands : '( I really need you Amy.. I need a shoulder to cry on.. please..


I can't blog any longer.. It's hurting again.. my eyes are filled again..


Apparently, my heart is getting weaker and weaker..





11:02 PM





I don't know why.. Okay. I just don't know why.. I'm crying so much.. I can't stop my tears from falling.. But i had to do this.. Why? Cause my heart has been in so much pain and guilt.. I'm sorry. I know I didn't do it the way i planned it to : '( I sounded so harsh. I know. But i'm really really sorry.. my billions and millions of sorry-s just won't help i know. Cause, I, Ashley Ng, has hurt someone so badly.. that it hurt me, myself...

I wanna rest.. I wanna sleep, but i can't.. My tears wouldn't stop flowing down.. My tears.. Oh, just hold in there... I really needed a hug. People must be thinking. " why are you sad when you dumped somebody?" well, cause i care and i know how painful it is. i feel bad i have so much pain and how much he helped me and what he bought me, chocolates and strawberries. thanks...


Questions, questions.. Questions running through my head.. I'm sorry about what happened during Lunch time Faria, Flora and Michelle. I know i shouldn't have been mad for that small little thing. I guess i was going through somethings and needed time, but Faria thanks for cheering me up during Music by designing our weird skinny hero.



I locked my door and i opened it and yelled at my dad. what is wrong with me. =/

10:32 PM

"There is nothing else i can do then just sit down and cry"


Hey hey hey! (: Today, yes. I should have believed it. It was hell.. I said it won't be, but it turned out to be hell.. Morning was assembly and then maths. It was so boring. Then it was break.. Had to take group photo for badminton. It was Science next.. The usual lah. I got 60% on the recent test. I'm happy with it as it was a difficult test. Then it was English, went to the lecture theater to watch our soliloquy. It was so gay. I was so gay. =/ On the bright side, I'm done with it. I mean People are done watching it and will forget it (: I loved Shawn's. I wanna watch Michelle's and Flora's (: It was Lunch. It was the time. yes, i did it.. Isn't it weird, the person that got dumped wasn't sad.. but instead, the person that dumped the partner is sad... What is wrong? I know he's sad in the inside. I just know it. I know how does it feels like.. or maybe it's just me.. Anyway, it was music next.. It was okay. Dt was the usual. But i love dt.. so yeah. it's awesome.. (:

Went on the bus. Had a weird weird weird weird conversation with Ken and Navin. Ken, the image is still on my mind. CURSE YOU! it's disgusting.! But on the bright side, it got my mind off the things that just happened. so yeah, thanks. (:


I came home, went up to my room and hm... Don't wanna talk about it i guess. Well, basically loads of tears that's all. no biggy. Well.. the songs aren't helping me out. but, i just gotta let things out.. cause my heart is already filled with pain and guilt. so hm.




Apparently, I need a sometime =/






9:35 PM


"This is killing me so much"


Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey! (: Today is a Wednesday. The day i can relax and chill? as hm. I'm done with ICT and History. and other stuff...

Firstly, i went on the bus, it was hell cold. I was already wearing a jacket and i was feeling cold! haha. oh well. i tried to sleep but failed. hm.. Faria wasn't in school today =/ so first lesson it was ICT i was grouped with Navin and Till how "great" is that. So there were 7 groups, we had to decide who was the best in your own group. and I was one of them. after things were sorted, the whole class goes around and check out the top7 and see whose is the best.



Yes, i was happy as i did it jsut last night. the finishing bit. i didnt had much time to improve it and all. but hey, simple yet effective and nice. (: thanks guys (: Damn, today was boring.. I was walking alone. Faria wasn't around. hmph. Anyway, so erm.. break was boring. Maths was next. I got caught for not doing my maths homework and had a lunch detention. but I managed to finished it in class as I finished the whole exercise and i asked whether i should go on to the next exercise and he asked me to do my homework. So I'm lucky today. (: then it was History. boring again. Faria wasn't here. Lunch.Nothing much.. English.. Well done Michelle and Flora (: Ainaa read too fast. I couldn't understand or hear what in the heck world she was saying. I couldn't concentrate as michelle, flora and I were having a conversation on a piece of paper. hilarious. haha! (: Art was last. it was okay. boring i guess, we got to play with those ink pens. (: haha. i drew some weird designs haha. but it was cool at the same time. (: bell rang. went to the bus.

Okay, so Sabiha sat next to me. and John saw the message and Sabiha heard. but it's cool. I trust her. Then.. when there's only Ken and I left on the bus. the usual. he asked me. and well. hmm. talk talk talk. told him a little and little. guessed it correctly some more. I don't get it. I came down the bus, and Ken's mom asked me why my parents don't got for the PTC thing... like accusing me.. hm.

Sorry guys, again. My mood. Sorry. I'm just crying so much now. I can't type nor tell why. =/ it's just so painful..


Apparently, I wanna stop this pain in my heart badly




9:08 PM



"This is how crazy you've made me"

Hey there readers. Okay, So I really hated today. Firstly, i nearly died, Secondly, My school bag is wet, Thirdly, my science note cards are all gone!, Fourthly, I have loads of homework to do.!

So yeah. Let me take you to this horrifying journey of mine today.

It was an ordinary Monday when i wake up early morning feeling like you haven't slept in ages. Got ready for to go to this place called SCHOOL. In order to be wide awake in SCHOOL, i had my not so delicious breakfast and we were late. We had to rush to our this stop where this vehicle called the BUS.. I got onto this weird big long cold BUS.. I couldn't take a short nap before i reached my destination,which is the SCHOOL.

When I was in the SCHOOL, I stood near this long rectangular thingy called the LOCKERS and i stared into empty spaces. Soon, my friend, Faria and I decided to go inside this room known as the LIBRARY.. We were suppose to me quiet in that room but i couldn't keep my mouth shut so i had to get out of that room. It was so sad, not... So this annoying this rang, it was the BELL.. we had to go to our tutor group... We sat on this amazing plastic stuff and people said it's called the CHAIR... it was a cold room but noisy.. Then I had English.. we were doing this note cards thing for our soliloquy, i remembered everything already and the teacher came to me and said i should extend it and develop it. I was really annoyed as some people like my friend, Michelle had 2 weeks to do that as the teacher gave it back to her 2 weeks earlier.

The annoying sound came again, it was the BELL again.. it was break.. Went over to my friend, Flora's LOCKERS.. and only went to mine. the BELL rung again, it was DT time. (: mY favourite subject but once again, the teacher wasn't here. He's always not in and we can't do anything! unfair! : '( SO then it was the annoying subject which i would love to call HISTORY. It was as boring as usual. the BELL rung again, it was time to eat again. i was still hungry after i ate my food, so i STOLE off some from Loni and Michelle. Then my friend, Faria and I went to out LOCKERS to put our lunch boxes and the BELL rung again.. We had to go for this interesting and fun subject.. it's called DRAMA. I think our group is the best among all. Well, second best.. then i had to go for this subject which people said that I'm good at it whereas the people in that class is as good as me or better.. which was MANDARIN. There's nothing to talk about it..

Next was this game called BADMINTON.. it was the usual, i was just sleepy. So on the bus, it wasn't a good thing. This guy, called STEVEN was being meaan! : '(

The bit where i nearly died was scary. I was waiting for my parents to pick me up at JB also know as Jalan Bellamy. my parents were late. My brother was doing his homework, It was raining heavily, i was staring into empty space and thought about the pass and what i should do.. Suddenly this FLASH just "RAN" pass so fast. It was called the LIGHTNING. It was so bright and scary. Then another one came. and another and another. This sound also known as THUNDER was getting louder and louder as the LIGHTNING was getting bigger and bigger.. Then when i was left alone, My brother walked around and left me alone, i stared and the THUNDER was so loud and great that it nearly gave me a heart attack, and to add on that, the LIGHTNING was so big so damn big and bright. My brother jsut came on time, I was about to cry.. It was so scary, i was hugging my bag so tight that it felt like the bag can't breathe, i know they are a non living thing but still.. So My brother and I went took our bags and went in and waited, the SCHOOL was STRUCK TWICE but the LIGHTNING.. It was scary. I was about to cry again. When my mom called my brother on his thingy called the PHONE, we went out and waited. Not really out of shelter.. Well waited, we saw a HUGE LIGHTNING again and the GREAT LOUD THUNDER came. It was SCARY. I can carry on saying it's SCARY cause it was!

When i got into the car i was basically acting crazy, i was like a mental person holding on my arms and rocking back and forth.. I finally calmed myself down and slept. We reached home at about 7.. My bag was really wet.. yes, wet. My books are all gone.! I'm gonna change my bag tomorrow.. Just for tomorrow i guess..


Word I've learned today are the red words. I know i sounded like a mental person and like someone who doesn't know anything.. but i was just joking. hahah! (: it's a long post and i think i should stop..

I've created this day which is CHOOSE DAY. You know how? keep repeating TUESDAY and it sounds like CHOOSE DAY. and yes, after tomorrow, i have to choose between some stuff. so yeaah.


Apparently, things are rough..





9:30 PM

AshweeB Friends Strawberries Heartbreaks


The girl's needs♥

Youuuu (:

Ainaa
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SW-AN;Sienwei;Ashley
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Yi En

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