i don't know whyy.. but it just happen. it's so painful.. it's like i see this girl in the mirror.. and i don't know who she is anymore.. she looks like me. but she isn't me...i see her past.. her familyy.. it's like.. when she was young,she has a prefect life, friends, and love.. then when she grows older.. her familyy starts to call her stupid.. and her happy heart.. it has been scattered by her love ones... everytime when she walks in the class.. in the morning... she sees shadows.. and then friends onlyy arrive.. but then.. they don't know is that her heart is crying inside all the while.. friends always blame me.. and then love ones says i'm stupid..

she always wish that she could be like her siblings. she always wonders why in her familyy onlyy she's the one that is so stupid.. she always think that she was adpoted.. and that's why she's not as smart as her siblings.., not as perfect as them.. she always wonder.. and one night she had a dream.. the same dream over and over again.. she cried cause it was too painful for her.. as todayy..when she sees one person.. her heart just got broken.. she tried to carry all the pieces up as fast as she could but she can't.. as cause there was too many pieces... all she can do is to cryy..she cried in her heart and in the toilet.. she don't want her friends to find out..she don't want them to worry too much...

when she got home.. she went straight to her room.. and cried so much.. she cried and cried.. till she has finally calm down.. her friends.. all of her freinds... thinks she's so happy all the time.. but she isn't.. her heart is always crying and never stops.. sometimes she is hyper.. and happyy.. but hten truth is.. she was just trying to make sure her friends won't have to worry too much... and therefore.. her heart is so weak now.. cause she onlyy let the tears out when she get's home.. and then her mum will annoy her.. and then she have to fake that she jst woke up.. she tried not to cry.. but the tears just won't stop dropping from her eyes.. she always try to chill herself down but then.. she can't.. cause of her love ones calling her stupid.. and her friends.. and a person is like not really caring about some stuff.. that person don't take things seriouslyy..

but todayy..i have to be happyy.. as cause it's my dad's birthdayy.. happy birthdayy dad.. and when i was helping to take the picture,(i was taking the cake's picture) my brother scolded me and asked whyy you need to take for.. internet also can get what.. waste your time la.. so stupid la youu.. and then my heart suddenly feels so...painful.. it's like a knife is stabbed inside it.. and that her life is short.. and that she don't deserve to be in this world.. everyone.. i tell about.. is just one side.. of the stroy.. the other side you guys don't know and then you guys will think it's so easy to handdle the problem that i told youu.. but then it isn't.. cause i still have so much more. and i don't know what to do about it.. it's so scaryy in this world.. no one who really understands what i'm going through...