Wednesday, November 12, 2008
the times we shared will always be in my heart, but you make me wanna forget it
all the times i always wanna pleased people.. but i remembered someone said this:" always pleased yourself first then others" but then everytime i wanna please myself, you are stopping me.. you.. cause you sayy i'm all dumb and stuff.. and then i go back to the pharse saying that:" always pleased people first then yourself" but then.. you tell me that pharse again:" always pleased yourself then others" but then.. you are the one making me doing the other way round. why don't you understand? i need your support...
Todayy.. we had a buffet in school.. For standard 6 students.. and so.. i was damn freaking hyer.. everyone was.. and then suddenlyy.. poom... You know it's not i don't wanna let you go with that person..It's just that.. i feel like i don't know you anymore.. No hyper partner any more.. It's just that.. haiz.. no one will understand.. One girl told me that she over heard someone saying that.. the person i'm talking to won't talk to me cause of me.. You know what.. if you wanna put the blame on me.... just put.. i'm sick of it.. but hey.. look 2 more days left to suffer.. why not you all just put the darn blame on me? I feel like i onlyy have my partner during mornings onlyy.. so when it's not morning, i don't have you is it? Everyone always love to say i'm the stupid, useless one.. maybe.. i hate it alreadyy.. and sometimes you all say i'm not trying.. but you all don;t know that i'm trying so hard just to impress someone and in the end, tears come out.. is it worth it?
Every single dayy, i look myself in the mirror. asking myself who the hack am i. asking, why people need to put everything on me... asking myself, why can;t i stop time and enjoy memories.. asking myself, why must life go on like this... asking myself, when can i meet my primary friend again...
To: Carin
Thanks for being there.. Thanks for coming in to the hyper gang with me.. Thanks for lending me your shoulder to cry on.. Thanks for your friendship over these 6 years..I know you have alot of problems too.. Just like me.. I'm so sorry for not being there for you..I'm the wrong one.. 6 years of friendship and i can't even be by your side.. Lending you my shoulders to cry on.. I'm sorry Carin..I'm so so so SORRYY.. I didn't mean to do this.. Im sorryy.. Now that we are going to go our own ways, i wanna wish you all the best..
To: Ser lyn,
Thank you for the 1 year friendship.. Eventhough it's just one year.. It really showed me that i still can meet friends like you when i grow up.. When you are sad,I tired to cheer you up.. but well guess what.. I'm a lousyy friend cause i can't even cheer you up.. You are a sweet girl.. a really sweet one.. Please just stay who ever you are.. Always think before saying... Well.. All the best.. Oh yeah... Love your cheese cake
To: Sien wei
Thank you for everything... Well you are a great friend.. You really know how to understand what we're going through.. thanks again.. all the best.. sorryy no picture with you
To: Samantha
You are a kind and sweet girl.. 2 years of friendship and i really loved it.. It's so nice being with you.. But how i wonder.. It's like we(carin and me) have problems we go to you.. But you don't come to us.. But once ive found out.. That girl isn't you're true friend my dear.. She's not that kind of friend that you need.. And thanks for transport and stuff like that.. I remembered on your birthday bash.. It as so fun.. Eventhough we didnt do much.. But i sure do love your cheese cake. hehe..
To: Tane
Well. it's end of the year soon.. The memories we had will always be in my heart.. Wish you all the best...
P/S: To all of you all... memories are safe with me... you will be watched by the angel i sent down to watch over you all.. to make sure you are safe..
It's over for me and youu.. Eventhough i said friendsforever. but i dont see it...i don't see how you know how i feel.. all i see... is a fake friend.. It's goodbyee
ashley signing off
tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
8:26 PM
