Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I miss everything about you ;
*2009, Alamanda, Ainaa's & Flora's birthday"
"No one seems to understand this feeling, I'm feeling"Hey there(: It's a tuesday. yes,a sad day... It's always a sad day for me now.. well, what can i say, I'm a sad women, trying to hide the pain in and to smile in school, act like nothing's wrong. Anyway, carry on. Today, in the morning. it rained and Sabiha and I wanted to walk in the rain. We did. We convinced Faria to walk with us too. (: She was complaining so much. I was crazy this morning sayin gi love the rain so much and i stood under the rain for a while. (: Went to tutor, it was mad! It was freezing like hell! HELL COLD! : '( went to science. and it was cold to me too =/ but trust me, Ms.A's room is waay colder. blah blah blah. Break. nothing much happened. Malay, boring boring boring as usual. Maths, WORST! effing boring! So darn boring. i kept yawning the whole time! I was about to sleep. Lunch. blah blah blah. Geography was boring too. Mr.Williams wasn't in and we had to do this bit of exercise from the textbook. and I finished and had nothing to do. SO DARN BORING! English was next. it was boring too. well, not the research bit. it was hilarious. thanks guys for making my day. (:
Faria stayed back for activities today...So i was on the bus. i slept again. i was so tired. Mum called and that woke me up. i couldn't go back to sleep. Oh well.. It was too cold too. so yeah.
Came home, ran up as fast as i could. Locked my door, and i cried again : '( I miss everything. I screw up everything. I mess up everything. Promised myself to appreciate this one, but but. i know i messed up everything. I know i did.
Everything's changing. Everyone is moving on.. But I'm still stuck here. 20%, sien wei. that much. It still counts. =/ 80% that's a lot.. what should i do?!?!
As i walk by, my heart sinks. As i talk to you, my heart sinks more. It's not that I dislike you, or hate you, or don't love you anymore. It's just... Everything.. No matter how much i try to explain, no one gets me. No one. No matter how much time i spend on telling my friends how painful it is, they don't get it. Sien Wei, you're the only one that understands me on this situation. Please please please please please please, I'm begging you, to call me A.S.A.P! : '(
I miss Nurlyana. I miss seeing someone eating noodles. I miss someone saying flipping hell ms.George she's. blah blah blah. Everytime after science Nurlyana would say that.
I miss her so muuch now. I know, out of the sudden, missing her when i know she's already gone. she won't be coming back. Chinese new year is coming. Oh i remember how she always get her hair done..
I've been crying so much now a days. Everything is going all wrong :'( how am i gonna get her out of my mind??!?! It's so difficult. She was the one that took care of us since we were young. I really miss you. I really miss everyone. Everything back in 2008. but still it wasn't much of a year for me... 3 years in a row... having such so much pain. A lot of tears were shed.
I can't blog no more. It hurts.
Apparently, I'm donee
Ashley just wishes this would stop =/
Ashley signing off
Tata
xoxo
ashleylicious
4:36 PM
*2009, Alamanda, Ainaa's & Flora's birthday"