Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I miss everything about you ;
"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you."Hey there! (: So today was such a bad day. It's Wednesday week B and usually it is the best ever but just not today. So in the morning we had Drama and I injured my toe then. Then I was so nervous over my speaking. I had an hour to get prepared, but I was still so got damn nervous. So it was my turn and I went in and I screwed it up. Ms.Miow even said so. She said I need to work hard on my paper tests as my speaking isn't that good. =/ So I was late for my next class which was Science. Mr.Maruniak asked why i was late, and i had to repeat myself twice just to tell him that I went for my speaking test. So then i sat and did the work. blah blah ringgg. Lunch. it was okay-ish. then it was Malay, presented the poster thingy. I felt so lonely, Michelle wasn't there. My mood went down after that. So the start of PSHE wasn't a good start for me. I apologize to you Jess for not answering you when you asked me something, i needed time. So then we had to answer this questions. Basically Self-Evaluating. So there was one question which asked whether you are aggressive and i said always. HAHA then Jess and I started being aggressive to each other. So the bell rang. School ended. So while walking to the bus i said: My mama say hi, my mama say i die. and Edison saw and heard me and he was like what the heck. then i was like: my mama asked me to punch you in the balls. haha! I didn't mean to Edi, i was crazy. needed to be crazy at that time. (:
The bus ride was kinda boring as there were only 8 people on. But Faria, Sabiha , Jess and I had a very interesting girl talk. haha! (: So then I went home, had Mcdonalds =P thank you mummy ! (: haha. then I came up. showered went down. rest. Watched tv. then American Idol. (:
"I hate how you always love to compare me no matter what. I did my best today a little good luck in the morning would be great and a little smile and 'you tried your best' would be nice. but no. You just gotta compare me. I'm not her. When I try to tell you that, you say it's my problem. You say it's my attitude. I've been treating you like this lately. Please, if you just look back and see that I'm just trying to say my part of my story. Whether it's right or wrong, I'll still get told off. Why can't you see I'm trying my best? It's so painful going to school with so much thing happening and coming home with this problem. Pretending everything is fine, putting a fake smile. I was injured today. You told me what to do. You told me a lot of things to do. I got confused. I did everything you told me wrongly and you just yell at me saying that i should have listened to you? I was confused. And when i told you that, you just say I got it all wrong and heard wrongly. When i was kicked right at the place i was injured, i yelled and started crying in pain, you said it's my fault for not doing what you say? and told me to go and put the cream on. Yes, i did in the end. It was so painful. Everything's so painful. Yes, so what if I'm emotional?!? Aren't you guys emotional too?!? We are humans, with feelings, and I have feelings too, Mom. It would be nice if you stop comparing me to everyone else in the family. I've tried everything I could. I've tried to be them, but it's not me. No matter how hard I try, I'm still wrong. When I don't try, I'm wrong as well. So what now.?"
Apparently, I'm tired of everythingAshley needs a hug now.
Ashley signing off
10:18 PM
